So yesterday... i was really cranky. i was all barf-y feeling and generally in a bad mood. then my friend, Matt comes up to me, his long hair billowing in the breeze.... okay there was no breeze, but i felt like it adds to the affect.
anyway.
he comes up to me and says "so, over the weekend, i had this awesome idea..." he's a very monotone person, so you never really know what he's thinking, but it's usually bad.
he continues to say "it's a joke... and it's going to be played on you... do you want to hear about it?"
being in the horrible mood that i was, i told him that i'd rather he put it off until tomorrow, when i could appreciate it more fully but he told me it couldn't wait because he had it with him. which made me even more suspicious, as you should probably be able to understand. then my homie-g came over and asked what we were up to. He told her that he had an awesome prank to play on me. and asked her if she wanted to know. Being as she is, she said sure and he started whispering in her ear, trying not to laugh. i could only catch a few words of what she said... something along the line of "oh, Matt.... really?" in a sad but disgusted tone, and "IN YOUR POCKET??" and "what are you going to DO with it?" "that's gross..." and such.
Then it was time for us to go to class. luckily, and i both have our first class together. so i asked her what his prank was. she told me he had a bag of his pubes and a bag of his leg hair in his pocket, but she wasn't sure what he was planning to do with them. so after my first class, we had homeroom and first thing i say to Matthew when i get there is "you keep that bag away from me" he was very upset that Danielle had spoiled his secret, and he said that he now knew that he couldn't trust her but he soon got over it when our friend Brandon came. he continued to harass Brandon by pointing out the differences between the leg hair and the pubes and released the information that his leg now has random bald patches... information NOT necessary.
So i don't really see him again until lunch hour when we are sitting at the table and he has some chocolate pudding on his tray.
"You know what I should do?" he asked me, "I should put my pubes in this pudding and act like i don't want it and feed it to Brandon"  I tell him no, that's disgusting, and i will tell Brandon if he tries to feed it to him. he calls me a party-pooper. I'm not a party-pooper, i just think that's disgusting and i would probably throw up. I had already needed to move away from him due to the gross smell of his manwich D:  
So Brandon comes over and he is informed of Matt's evil schemes (by matt himself) and he thanks me for saving his live.
yeah, he totally owes me.
but i'll still probably lose when Danielle and I force him to choose which of us to sit by... even though i save his life... and do his spanish homework for him... and all Danielle does is lie to him and say that she won't make fun of Bon Jovi (who he worships).... Brandon sucks D:< .
oh, and Matt gave his pubes to a sophomore who's first plan was to make them into a goatee (since he can't grow his own?) but then he decided to get some weed and mix it in and give it to a druggie he doesn't like.... but i dunno how that went
but yeah.
Matt is a freak.